My 9 months of being pregnant was really rough in the beginning, great in the middle and bad at the end; now it’s wonderful. When I found out I was pregnant I was 2 ½ months, my dad flipped. I felt really bad for disappointing my parents, especially my dad because I was his little girl. The baby’s dad was really scared to tell his parents, but eventually he told them and they were ok with it. When I was 5 months, the baby’s daddy cheated on me with a girl from Sunnyside, since I lived in Yakima and he lived in Sunnyside. To me it was the end of the world because I didn’t expect that from him. After a while we talked things out and he said it wouldn’t happen again, but it did.
On New Year’s I was fed up with the drama he was putting me through because it was just stressing me out and that wasn’t good for me, so I told him we were done for good and that I wanted to start my new year without him. It was pretty hard for me since he was my baby’s daddy, but that was the best thing to do for me and the baby at the time. After I had broken up with him, we didn’t have any communication for 3 month until the baby was born. On March 5, 2011 we saw each other and he was with me throughout my entire labor and while I gave birth. To me, it felt like things would be better when the baby got here, so we gave it one last chance. The days I was in the hospital were great, they felt like we would be a perfect family after all; until I was released from the hospital he showed the other side of him that I didn’t want to see. He did a 360 on me and changed completely and wasn’t responsible for our baby. He wanted my parents to buy the baby everything; he didn’t want to watch him and would always be playing video games. Once again like the first time, it didn’t last. After the baby was a month I put an end to us and told him we just had to be friends because it wasn’t working out. When I told him that, he flipped out on me and started telling me a lot of stuff. He threatened me saying he was going to take the baby away from me, I was really scared and didn’t know what to do so I told me parents and they told me not to worry because he had to have a good reason in order to take him away from me. Plus, it’s a lot of money to go through all of that. Since the day we broke up we had absolutely no communication with each other, he didn’t care much about seeing the baby so I didn’t put in effort if he wasn’t going to try either.
When Jayden turned one, his dad made him a birthday party which I had approved of. I know for a fact he was happy to be with his son and his parents with their grandson because they hardly see him. At times I feel bad that I don’t him to take the baby, but in my personal opinion he has no right since he’s never been there or helped me out with anything since the baby was born. When the baby daddy comes around, Jayden cries because he doesn’t know who he is, and it breaks my heart because as much as I don’t want things to be like that I can’t really do anything about it because it’s his dad’s fault and not mine. He chose not to be around and now that he tries, the baby doesn’t like him or know who he is.
For the past year and 3 months, I’ve been a single momma and I’m proud of it because I’ve made it this far in life. People see me and feel bad for me when really they should feel happy for me for not giving up. Some of my friends’ say they’re proud of me and that they look up to me because after everything I’ve been through, I still stand strong and smile. Hearing that people look up to me makes me try harder in life and not give up. People think being a teen mom is a big issue, but to me there’s different teen that actually keep strong and stay in school and don’t drop out. A lot of it is also having support from family members, friends or even teachers. My son means the world to me and I don’t care if I have to be a single mother all my life, as long as I make him happy and show him how strong I really am is all that matters. I want my son to be able to grow up and be proud of me for not giving up on life when things got rough, so therefore I will always keep my head up and when I fall I’ll just get back up and keep going.