Don’t Feel Bad About Feeling Good

We don’t talk enough about grief—about how to manage it, about how to work through it, about how to live with it. Why, then, should we expect to know how to respond to it?

Every once in a while, a griever has something that feels foreign: a good day.

Or maybe even a good hour.

After what, for some, feels like an eternity of difficult days, of not wanting to get out of pajamas or leave the house or eat (or stop eating), that first good moment may come as a shock.

That shock is often replaced with guilt.

The good feeling may come a day, a week, a month, or a year after the loss. But, for some reason, when we are grieving, we fear that having a positive moment may give the impression we don’t value the loss of our loved one. We think we “shouldn’t” feel good, as if that moment of joy is a form of disrespect.

But that’s not true.

If you were dying, would you want your loved ones to live the rest of their lives in sadness? I don’t think so. You would want them to live their best lives, squeezing every moment possible out of their existence, being filled with joy, and sharing memories.

Sadness is inevitable with loss. And being sad is okay—it’s even healing. But when those moments of joy, or laughter, or simple good feelings come along, welcome them; they are cathartic, and they are also essential to your healing.

Live your best life today!

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