Learn to have patience with yourself.

Laurie OswaltTime doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds, but grief definitely does take time.

 Brenda’s husband died the 5th of May. Within a week, her husband’s closet was completely cleaned out, and his clothes were sent to a homeless shelter—they may as well go to good use, right? Within a month, her kids had helped Brenda get her house up for sale. By the time six months rolled around, Brenda had moved out of her house and into a new town. So now, Brenda is grieving the loss of her husband, her memories, her home, her friends, and her town.

Experts suggest that you try to give yourself a full year (or thereabouts) before beginning to wrestle with even further life-changing issues like moving out, moving away, moving “on.”  Instead, make plans for your future (both short-term and long-term) in different ways:

  • schedule outings with others
  • make personal goals for the next six months
  • evaluate what is great about your life (you may have to come back to this last thing—the evaluation—time and time again before you are able to discover that there are good things in your life. That’s okay)

Take the time now to grieve. Smell the smells that remind you of your loved one. Cry when you need to. And know this: you will grieve. You can hold it in and try to move on, but the grief will simply go with you until you deal with it, chew on it, work through it, recover from it.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *